Betty White

Betty White Link

Can you do Hulu or Netflix or something?  You'll love it!  There probably isn't much on youtube that is good quality. 

I'm playing tennis tomorrow morning, too.  I'm playing doubles so it's not nearly as fun, but I still love to get out there.  It's with two old dudes and a dude my age.  Shut up.

Nothing funny is coming to mind........  :) 

Sunday Minutes.....

Howdy,

So I guess the person who takes notes during a meeting of any kind is called the minute something.  Minutes as in keeping notes during a meeing to keep a log for reference later.  I guess this is kind of like that, but I don't put every minute since you don't need to hear about Frasier or my latest crossword failures.

Having said that, this won't be too excting either but whatever.....

I was going to play tennis on Saturday with a bunch of old dudes, but they ended up with an odd number of players so I was the odd man out.  Oh well.  I'm going to play today, instead.  I read some more of my book "The Girl Who Played With Fire."  It's the sequel to "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo," a great book.  So far "Fire" is pretty good.  The girl in the book is awesome and doesn't put up with shit.  She hates men, ahem, and is not kind to some of them.  You should read it!  :) 

I ended up sitting at the bar at Macaroni Grill on Rosecrans for dinner.  I didn't want to stay home.  There's a bunch of good basketball games on (college) now because the season is coming down to the end.  I sat there for two-and-a-half hours watching games.   I don't drink much anymore, but the bartender was more than kind and kept them coming without charging me.  Maybe because I was a loner on a Saturday so he felt bad or something.  Either way, I got kinda faded!  It was a fun time even though many might say a waste for a Saturday night. 

I got up to play tennis this morning, but all the courts were full by 7:30.  Damn!  So, I went to the gym instead.  I didn't work out too long because I'm going to try to play again today.  In fact, I gotta go!  I'm playing at noon.

So here's my breakfast.  I can cook, too!  Check out the perfect bacon.  Ha!  I know you suck at bacon.

See ya!

Winner!

Hey!

I won!  I played really well and the funny thing is that my serve was much better today because of the video I watched from two weeks ago.  I told you I found two flaws in my serve that I adjusted tonight.  While I wasn't that consistent with it, I was able to improve on it and give me confidence going forward.

I played this guy Dennis Hall who hits the ball pretty well.  He plays a lot of doubles so he's good at the net.  I don't suppose that means anything to you, but whatever.  There's a net and he's good when he's near it.  The only problem I had in the match was closing out the sets.  I was dominating the first set, 5-2, but barely won 6-4.  Then in the second set, I was up 5-1 and then was down 6-5!!  I lost 5 games in a row!  When it was 5-1, all I had to do was get to six.  I just had to win one more game to win the match, but as is true with a lot of people, the mental part of the game can get to you.  When you're about to win, some people get nervous and it changes your game.  It fucks with your head!  However, I somehow pulled it together to win 6-4, 7-6 (7-0).  The second set went to a tiebreaker and I won that 7-0.  I blew him away in the tiebreak.  Again, I know you don't understand the damned scoring, but go read about it.  Do it now.  :)

I just reread that paragraph and it's not very cohesive. I'm sorry if that was confusing. I'm watching Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer play right now. They are the two biggest names in tennis so it's a HUGE match. They are playing in the same stadium we went to in Palm Desert in 2009. You saw Nadal play that day.

I have to work on my camera work to get you a better perspective of my matches. I'll try to find a place to put the camera at the end of the court so you can watch the match itself. Here is another boring tennis video...

Did I mention that I won?

So as soon as I got home from work last night, I walked straight over to Trader Joe's to grab some stuff.  Right as I approached the front door, this dude come steaming out of the store with a crazy look on his face.  It all happened so fast that I didn't even move, but the guy storms out and within 3 feet of me karate kicks the entire table of flowers!!  It all happened so fast that I didn't flinch, but it was wild.  Two dudes from TJ's follow him out yelling "just get out of here!"  He had passed me by now, but turned around to look at the two dudes and had a wild, crazy look on his face.  I would have run the other way if I had time to recognize what was coming at me.  I walked into the store and every shopper was staring outside as if he had just caused one hell of a scene.  I have no idea what he did, but that was wild..........

So then I'm walking home with my stuff, but I stopped to grab some beer at the liquor store.  I put my bag on the counter to pay and the Asian lady starts going through my TJ's bag asking what I bought!  WTF???  Something was in the air yesterday, I think.  People were acting strange........And I won my match!

The new ladder starts soon.  I'll have to show you the link to the site once I'm signed up.

Off to work!  Sweet........

Jocelyn

Match Tonight

Bueno,

Thanks for your comment.  I know exactly how you feel when you hit submit and it doesn't work.  You get nervous and want to hit the "back" button, but you're afraid it's going to be all gone so you hesitate.  You have no choice and push "back" and it's blank!!!  Gad Dammat!!!  I feel your pain......

I went and played tennis on Tuesday night to work off the stress I caused the both of us.  I'm not belaboring the point, but I'm just saying.  I went out to play and had a great practice.  I have a match tonight against a dude that I beat before my fake injury (wink, wink).  He's really good so I don't know that I can take him down tonight, but I'm looking forward to getting out there.  My arm feels really good, despite being laughed at in my own place of business!

I do stretches and exercises for my arm (and in general) in the office to keep the blood pumping and the three amigos give me so much shit!  I don't know why it's so funny, but the worst one is when I try to do the splits standing up.  They kill me for that one as if I'm trying to get on the ground like a cheerleader.  Jokes on you guys!  I'll be in great shape when I'm older and your asses will be immobile by the time you're sixty.  Lopez doesn't ever move and that has to take it's toll over this much time, right???

I'm playing at Live Oak in Manhattan, the site of my overwhelming victory last year.  Maybe I'll try to shoot another video.  I'll have to find another spot.  Funny thing, I shot that video for you, but I had never seen myself play before.  I noticed two big flaws in my serve.  I hope to correct them tonight.  We'll see.........

I hope everything is going great with the new job.  You sounded excited about it when we spoke on Tuesday.  I hope it continues!!!!

Kimberly

Hi

Hi There,

I feel awful.  Please know that I didn't mean to come on strong.  I don't talk to anyone so it kind of builds up, I guess.  It's not directed at you, of course.  It's frustrating!!  I obviously think a lot and the mind goes all over the place, but nothing changes in regards to my support for you.  Do I get a little leniency?  A little bit?  Pleeeeeaaaaaseee.  I know that you don't have a lot of strength, but please find enough to recognize I'm doing my best in a tough spot.

You were having a great day and I felt just awful.  I wish I could just be there for you and make the pain go away.  God I wish that.  All.  The.  Time.

I commented on your comment.  I don't know if you get those or not, but.....

Always TOY and always wanting to make you smile.

S

All is good.  It's me.  Please trust in me.  Work has become a haven for you and I would like you to think of me that way.  I want you to look forward to calling me and not be afraid to talk.  Don't I get a free pass once in a while????  :)  C'mon!  :)

I would love to hear from you.....even on work phone, I guess.  :)  I need credit repair!!!

My Bad, Silly....

Hi,

No need to apologize, regardless of why you ended it.  I was way out of line.  Moment of weakness, I suppose.  We'll talk about that stuff when you're prepared and have time.  You were five mins away from home and I tried to fit a 2 hour conversation into 38 seconds.  Hidiot! 

I love that you're enjoying work even if it is just work, but it's a way to feel normal and do what you've wanted to be doing.  I'd love to hear more so don't hesitate to call, just don't pin me down at my desk!  I can't even begin to tell you how awkward that is with everyone in my office............unless you call as a rep for CR and need a new customer.    My credit score is 790 or so, but whatever.......

Don't be sorry.  That was all on me.

Smile...........

Look At My Bum

Hi there,

First of all, I'm sorry about the timing of recent events (emails, phone calls), but timing was never our thing anyway. No surprise there! I had no idea that my weekend would be dominated by my visit to the doctors office.

You may recall that I've been meaning to get this cancer screening for years because it sounded awful and it's recommended for men way older than I am. However, my Dad and his brother, my Uncle Bill, were both diagnosed with colon cancer in their lives to my doctor has been bugging me for years to get myself checked out. I've scheduled it multiple times in the past two years, but cancelled each time because, well, it sucks. Now I know. It sucks! I scheduled this one over a month ago and as time grew closer I said "ah, to hell with it, let's just get this over with."

So all day on Thurday I'm allowed NO food and only water, chicken broth, Jell-0 that isn't red (I don't know why) and apple juice. By 2pm on Thursday I was one irratable mother fucker. Work sucked that damned day. By the time 6pm rolled around, I was getting headaches and feeling feint. On top of that, I had to pound a liter of this stuff called "Moviprep" which makes you live in the bathroom for about an hour. I know what it's like to pee sitting down now! You poor women. Then I had to pound another liter at 9pm. That wasn't so bad since I was just about brain dead anyway. Once midnight rolled around, I wasn't allowed even a sip of water. Funny thing was that I didn't have a horrible night. I actually slept for a few hours which is more than usual these days. Weird.

I didn't work on Friday, obviously, and that's why I didn't get your voice mail until today. The receptionist, surprise, surprise, didn't tell you that I was out. At the time you left that voice mail, I was likely sitting in a waiting room thinking, "Dude, I hope there's an earthquake soon...."

They called my name at 9am and here we go. I go into the room and it was like a MASH unit in a makeshift hospital in Korea or something. There must have been 10 guys in there, all way older than I am, either recovering or getting prepped for having a camera stuck in their sheeshpees. Two nurses come over to me and verify my name, something they would do 4 more times because I guess they don't want to mix up our anuses like babies in a newborn ward of a hospital. I mean, babies all look the same just like our rear ends. "Yeah, I'm Steven!" Then they make me put on a gown with nothing else on except my socks. Talk about uncomfortable. "Do I have to leave my socks on?!?!?" That's more embarrassing than the damned camera! They kept asking me what I was doing there because I'm way too young for this crap. I explained that my father and uncle were diagnosed years ago so my doctor told me to do this, but I just thought that I'm here already so let's just do it anyway. Fire up the ass camera! Cheese!

One of the things I noticed as soon as I got in the room, the most humorous part of this endeavor, was that everyone was farting like it was a Saturday Night Live skit! FFffffftttt. Every 45 seconds, there was a blast so loud that it would have made any teenager proud. Y'know, the kind a 14 year old kid loves to blast in front of his friends at school. Well, maybe that doesn't quite ring a bell for you, but dudes like to fart. It's like lifting weights or something. "Yeah, check this out...." It was comedy, but I was also worried that I was going to be doing that and creating more work for the nurses if you know what I mean.

They wheel me into the room on a gurney like I'm heading to some major surgery or something, but then I've never really been in a hospital so I guess this is routine for any procedure or surgery. I don't know. By the time the doctor came to talk to me, I was just about passed out because they started some heavy doses of Demerol and something else that's supposed to make me forget the excitement that lay ahead.

The next thing I know, I'm yelling out answers to questions that I thought were being asked of me. I was dead, but my brain was going crazy. I was riding horses through the wild west and talking to a bunch of dudes who looked like they were from the 1800's or the Civil War. Demerol rocks! I was totally laid out back in the same spot I was before I was wheeled into the camera room. I was having wild dreams and woke up about 8 times to find out that I was yelling out loud for everyone to hear, but there wasn't anyone standing there next to me. I was on my side facing a curtain that I could have sworn was riding a horse with me and Indiana Jones! It was disappointing to wake up and realize I'm an idiot yelling at nothing, but I would quickly fall asleep and do it all over again. It was quite an adventure and I have no idea how long this process went on. I could have been there for two hours riding horses and fighting for the Union in the war. I guess the nurses are used to this because none of them came over to talk to me (that I'm aware of) until I finally came to enough to turn on my back and face front. Once I did that, there were people all over the place.

I was so groggy at this point that I wasn't ready to talk to anyone, but did I feel good. It was really hard to put thoughts into words, though. I know what it's like to speak with a studder or have cerebral palsy where you can't speak what your brain is thinking. This is not a good time for the doctor to come over and tell you the results of your test, but there he was telling me that I was fine and they found nothing. Surprise, surprise. I guess I really didn't need to do all this but I'm glad I did. It's just been on the "to do" list for so long that I needed to cross it off.

And, yes, I did let some serious gas go. It was so cool to be a part of a SNL skit, but I was too drugged up to even care. I guess they pump you full of air so the camera can see stuff, but you have to push it out when it's all over. Imagine a room full of ten men all farting repeatedly. I won't soon forget that part! Luckily for the nurses, none of us had eaten in 24 hours. Sorry to bring this up, but it was all part of the day!

I drove home.....joking!, but I was out of commission for the rest of the day. I watched TV and got to eat, but funny thing was that I wasn't too hungry. I suspect the drugs threw off my hunger pains or brain signals. I did want a beer though. Weird, huh?

I was laid out for the rest of the day and I suspect that I slept for a good 16 or so hours. I watched some TV, but I don't remember what I watched. It was a really quick day once the drugs took over. I woke up on Saturday and wasn't in any shape to do much. I had planned to go to the gym to try to work some of this off, but as soon as I stood up I realized that wasn't going to happen. I spent the day with friends and family coming and going and that's why I couldn't talk to you. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but once word got out, I heard from everyone as if I had just had open heart surgery or something.

I wasn't on my phone very much, but I did check it to see if you had called. It sucked because I knew I wouldn't be able to talk to you. I don't talk to anyone about all of this stuff because I know you don't want me to. Nobody knows that I still talk to you. Believe it or not, it's to protect me too. People don't understand my position just as they don't understand yours, either. I respect that and I understand it so when you called, there was no way I could get on the phone with you, but you can bet I wasn't happy about it. I hated that I had missed you. I'm guessing you were wondering what the hell was going on since I wasn't saying anything especially after my last email.

Moral of the story:  I have a perfect butt.

Tennis

Hi There,

I told you that I would put up a tennis video, but I'm afraid this one kind of boring.  I'm going to have to do some location work and find another location for the phone.  I did try to film others, but this one took up so much memory that I couldn't film anything else.

I lost 4-6, 6-3, 4-6.  I know you don't know what the hell that means, but look it up, nitz.  :)

Notice the elbow brace and stop taunting me about a gay injury.

Boring Tennis Video

Toyota.  Lots of em.